Sunday, July 22, 2007

Macking on your Hair Stylist

Great work on the conversation program, Carlos! I feel much better prepared now to handle any conversation with confidence.
I have a couple questions on the same topic. I have a usual gal that normally cuts my hair (very hot), and she's not married. I have a pretty good rapport with her, but have never taken it anywhere outside of her "chair". (Yes, I'm aware she isn't necessarily talking to me out of interest, but out of the fact that I'm a customer.)
She's out of the country for a while though, and today I went to a new hair styist. TOTALLY HOT HOT HOT! I saw a huge rock on her finger though, so she's married. I don't normally go after married girls, but this time I may do it. She cut my hair and we talked a bit. I tried to use humor and energy to answer her usual "where you from" and "what do you do?" questions to be different from the other guys.
I would like to get a piece of this married gal. How should I go about attracting and getting somewhere with a married hair stylist? Like I said, I've never gamed married girls, so I'm quite sure things are different. For example, I couldn't take her in public for a "date" because it's a small town and someone that knows her may see her, etc.
I would also like to get somewhere with the one that isn't married. It's a different situation though than trying to pick up a girl that I walk up to in a store or something. I know I've got to bust through the barrier of "I'm just a customer". What's the best way to get a date with this girl?
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CARLOS ANSWERS:

This is a tough question for me to answer on many levels.

The first of which is that... well, she's married, dude.

I'm more concerned about your attitude, though. You've got a conflicting program running in your head that could be much more damaging.

You say: "I would also like to get somewhere with the one that isn't married," but that's not what you're asking me to do.

Also, when you say "I would like to get a piece of this married gal" it sounds to me like you're going after her solely for the sexual conquest.

The important question here isn't really about the situation. You see, I get hundreds of guys asking me "how to" questions about which technique to use in this situation or that situation, and it ends up showing me that they are not really coming from that grounded state of Alpha Self-confidence.

It's usually from a "what can I GET from her" mentality.

Guys these days aren't thinking from a "What can I bring into her life" perspective, and as a result, their underlying motivation sabotages them from the start.

You want to know what to do to "get" this hair stylist - the single one - that you desire?

1) The next time you call to set up an appointment, joke with her a little bit. Tease her a little for abandoning you when she left the country.

2) When you go in for your appointment, ask her about her trip. Get all the sensual details.

3) At the end of the appointment, tell her you've got a great <INSERT WHATEVER COUNTRY SHE WAS IN> restaurant that you think she might dig.

4) Don't offer to take her there. Instead, tell her that since she's been pining away for you all this time, you don't want her to think you're a nice guy by taking her out like that. Instead, tell her where to meet you for drinks - "and then we'll see what happens."

Will it work?

Sure. If you sub-communicate that this isn't really that big a deal. Or that it wouldn't be any big deal if she refused you.

But if you sense on the inside that you might have that horrible feeling of disappointment if she said "No," that you'd be embarrassed, heartbroken, and hurt, then you need to address that belief system first. Skipping this is the big mistake that too many guys make, and then wonder why they're still back with me working on their inner game issues months later.

Get your game solid right from the start.

Learn the real-world confidence that makes a man an ALPHA MAN.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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