Sunday, April 15, 2007

When you're stuck on a woman...

I had a question for you that I'm sure you could answer. First I will say that I just got done reading the Dating Black Book and loved it, I'm going to read it again so all this info can stick in my head for good. It has helped me a good deal this past few weeks because of some things that have been going on in my life.

I purchased it after hearing your pod-cast after my last girlfriend just recently gave me the shaft- So I dated this girl for a year and ALL the time she said how much she wanted to marry me, be with me forever and all that stuff. SO on our one yr. anniversary ( Feb. 14th- yeah I know ) she left me to go out of state ( well tried but due to the blizzard couldn't ) and hook up with some guy. She of course denied all of this, even though I had proof of this was going on.- SO long story short she got engaged like a week or 2 later the wedding is this Fri. and yet she still tries to get ahold of me all the time saying she wants me back and she loves me. And I have not talked to her, replied to her text or e-mails since she did what she did.

... I really could go on and on about how much crap she put me through in our year together- I mean don't get me wrong we had some really good times but overall I was not to happy. But thanks to your book and a couple of my friends I did not go crawling back to her, because I know I would have.

... its weird Carlos even though I know I'm so much better off I think about her all the damn time and feel like its holding me back in going out and asking women. I am a quiet,shy and yes nice guy who is trying to get rid of the "nice guy" part but, since I have always been like this it is a little hard to try and break this habit. But all my relationships I sorta just fell into, one date would lead to another and then about a week later I got myself a girlfriend.

But on the plus side of things, I am working out again, keeping my appearance up ( which of course I let go after I got comfortable in my last relationship ) and doing more things for me and going to be taking up some new hobbies this summer.

So, I'm wondering which book to get next. I cant decide between the Alpha program or the approach women program. Since I'm trying to get rid of this nice guy disease and never have been to good at approaching the ladies I'm not sure which way to go on this one. So any extra advice you would have would be greatly appreciated.

Thank You,
Matt
______________________
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:

This is a place that a lot of guys find themselves falling on their face - when they achieve COMFORT in their relationship.

I'll bet you're in a crazy headspace right now, too. You think about her a lot. You fantasize about what MIGHT have been. Every guy has gone there, and every guy has experienced this to some degree.

(Listen to Puddle of Mudd's "She Hates Me" for a slightly amusing take on this...)
Mental obsession and an inability to control your own thinking is behind 99% of those post-partum blues you've got.
Here's a little suggestion for you: Every time you think of her from now on, force yourself to imagine her puking all over herself and you. Big, industrial strength chunks. Steaming.

Gross?

Absolutely. But it helps speed up the recovery process.

Do it and see.
Then I suggest you go and get the Secrets of the Alpha Man program. That will get your inner state where you are ready to move on to the Approach Program.

Here's the info on the Secrets program for you: https://www.alphaconfidence.com

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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