Friday, April 20, 2007

Tough Love in a Tough Situation

Hey Carlos, I started at relationship about 4 months ago with an amazing girl. Maybe the girl of my dreams.

In the two months we had sex three times and it was good and she told me she was fullfilled but here comes the problem now she says she wants to refrain from having sex because she wants a relationship that don't revolve around sex because all her past relationship was all about sex.

What should I do?
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

Ooh.

This is going to hurt a little, bro. Maybe even a
lot.

Women only stop having sex with you for one of 3 reasons:

1) She's not enjoying the sex.

2) She's not enjoying you. (i.e., she's not ATTRACTED to you.)

3) She loses her confidence in herself.



And if she is going through a phase of doubting herself, then it's only because she doubts
you, which really comes back around to # 2 again.

Remember, what she
says to you doesn't mean DICK.

What she
DOES is everything.

Bottom line: Her excuse about it not being about sex is probably because she's had a moment where she felt a dip in the attraction, and then she was given time to pause and reconsider her own feelings. And as I said, that is something she can ONLY do when she's not sure about you.

She thinks: "Hmm, how do I feel about this guy?"

Her brain answers:

A) "Not that into him..."

OR

B) "I don't know..."

OR

C) "I want him..."

If it's
C, she never doubts for a minute. She never tries to hold back on sex. (Truly a gesture of the un-attracted - or the sexually damaged.)

If it's
A or B, she'll start to hold back on giving herself to you because she doesn't feel you're prize-able. And most guys scramble desperately to get her back, and then they freak her out ...

... and then she's
gone.

Now, remember what I say: "
NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing that which she TRULY desires..."

Think about that for a minute. When you
really want someone, you can't stop yourself from going after them. Anything less and she's not feeling it.

My guess is that you started talking and acting like this was the "
girl of your dreams" and she started getting a vibe of insecurity and neediness from you. That's why she's backing off. And I'll bet any amount of money you also changed your behavior from what got you into the relationship to something more sensitive and wussy.

You want to fix this?

Get back to whatever you did to get her in the first place. Not hokey, stupid, romantic comedy stunts like playing "
In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel outside her window in the middle of the night.

- Tease her

- Demonstrate your independence

- Make a few decisions and don't let them get changed on you

- Be a leader in the relationship, not a 'partner'

Get back to demonstrating that you're really an
Alpha Man.

What?

You don't know what that is?

Get the Secrets of the Alpha Man and never make this mistake again with a woman.

"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing that which she TRULY desires..."

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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