Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Is there a rule book for dating?

I came across this article on the Net, and I cringed as I read it.

You read it first, and when you get back, I'll comment:

______________________

If all goes according to plan, I'll never have to go on another first date ever again.

There must be people out there who enjoy the game: seeking out a worthy candidate, getting him or her to agree to accompany you somewhere, waiting to see if he or she will call again, debating whether you should be the one to call, all the while wondering where it all might lead.

Not I.

When kids in elementary school proudly announced that they were boyfriend and girlfriend, I thought they were insane. Even in junior high, I questioned the point of dating before having a driver's license.

I spent the vast majority of my youth and early adulthood enjoying the single life. The number of girlfriends I've had can be counted on one hand. Mostly this is because I was somewhat picky. Also, I wasn't too crazy about rejection.

Dating has never made much sense to me. It all seems so fake, so forced. There are protocols that have been passed down through the generations and excessive expectations perpetuated by pop culture. But no true rulebook exists. You can do everything right, but if there's an imbalance of affection, all is lost.

A consequence of having relatively little experience in the dating world is that I don't have any sage advice to pass along to friends or family when they talk about their searches for someone special.

The truth is I got lucky.

I always thought that if I ended up a bachelor, that would be OK. And if I managed to find a woman to spend the rest of my life with, that would be fine, too.

With such a lackluster outlook on love, things easily could have ended differently.

Fortunately, I shrugged off my fears long enough to understand what an idiot I'd be if I let my soul mate — who happens to be an attractive, intelligent, caring woman — get away. I took a chance and never looked back.

Sometimes I wonder if I really would have been content to remain Single Man forever. What I do know is that I can't imagine being happier than I am as Family Man.

But now that I'm a husband and a father, I have succumbed to that nameless disease that infects many couples. The only symptom is a desire to see the single people in your life paired up.

Sadly, I can offer few suggestions for how to meet a potential mate. Workplace romances are risky ventures; the bar scene presents its own problems; and online dating still has a stigma about it.

And is there anything wrong with sitting back and waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to walk into your life?

If I did get thrown back into the dating pool, I'd probably drown. Or, at the very least, I'd be swimming as blindly as anyone else out there.

Which is why my wife is not allowed to divorce me or die — Single Man has happily retired.
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CARLOS COMMENTS:

Yes, there's a big problem with the way this guy thinks. First of all, he makes it sound perfectly okay that you can be clueless with women, and just take whatever you're lucky enough to get.

He even believes that it can be cute and funny to have
NO INSIGHT at all for anyone out there.

What the hell is this article supposed to be telling us? What is the message? He got lucky? I don't wait for luck. I
MAKE it.

The next problem is this:
And is there anything wrong with sitting back and waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to walk into your life?

Yeah. A BIG freakin' problem, dude.

You're basically letting life control you rather than the other way around. That's not how
Alpha Men live.

I'll wager a lot of money that this guy's wife is no longer attracted to him, and the relationship has boiled down to a marriage of convenience and friendship.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you're a single man until the day you die. No one leaves this world with their wife as an escort. You're always single.
That's the human condition.

He says: "
But no true rulebook exists."

Wrong again.

It's right here:

THE DATING BLACK BOOK

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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