Friday, December 08, 2006

Should you ever tell a woman you're sorry?

Carlos -

First off, I'd like to say I love the programs. I was originally very hesitant on purchasing anything like your programs, especially online, but I've discovered your tips and tricks about being an Alpha Man to be very insightful, and has thoroughly improved my relationships professionally, socially, and romantically.

However, you have not addressed what I have found to be an unusual variable in recent relationships. I'm a beat reporter for a newspaper in Texas in a town of about 100,000. I've been seeing a girl I met who lives in a town about 25 minutes away in a town of similar size.

There's another girl whose phone number and email I got who lives almost an hour away. I'm more interested in the girl who lives further away, and we've been conversing via email a bit, but I'm finding it difficult to keep coming up with ways to "be in the area," with either girl, because it seems to me that it reeks of desparation if I just volunteer to drive up to see either of them for coffee or lunch. I also work 5 evenings a week (till about 10:30), so lunch is often my best recourse during the week.

Secondly, I haven't heard you address apologizing really at all. Obviously, there are going to be times when you screw up and need to apologize for something.

As a reforming nice guy, I'm consciously attempting to figure out when I need to stand my ground and not apologize, but when I need to do so, I was wondering what the strategy for that might be. Apologies in general stink of comforting a woman or trying to seek her approval, so it's dangerous territory, but there are obviously times you need to be a man and admit when you're wrong.

I'm looking for guidance in both these matters. Thanks...

J.C.
Texas
______________________

CARLOS:

If I understand you correctly, you're asking how to date a woman that's not in your area, but being careful to not look 'desperate.'

Here's the first step: Don't try too hard to appear aloof. It's not nearly as effective as a lot of the other 'gurus' out there would have you believe.

You need to make a decided gesture of interest on your part to get this thing started.

Simply call her up and say, "You know, we need to get out and have some fun. What night is good for you?"

Ba-da-bing, baby.

Go meet up with her, show her some fun, use the strategies and techniques in the Alpha Man program to build attraction, and then make it clear that you're not going to be her 'friend.' Get a kiss.

Now you've got a reason to be out in her neighborhood, don't you? It's to see her. And the second or third time, she'll have to come see you.

One girl I was seeing sat in 3 hours of traffic for me to get over to my place. THAT'S how I knew she was into me. And I rewarded her nicely when she got to my house for proving her devotion.

As for apologies, absolutely. Guys should apologize for stupid, lame-ass, loserboy behavior.

But the issue is understanding HOW to apologize. If you do something that seems to necessitate an apology, give it, but MOVE ON.

The most common problem for human beings is the inability to LET THEIR EMOTIONS GO.

They attach themselves to emotions as if they are worth IDENTIFYING WITH. As a result, they're only as good as their last emotional reaction. (Test this out on a 3 year old and you'll get what I mean...)

So once you've handled that little error in judgement by apologizing fast and firm, just keep going and don't let it affect your confidence. Again, guys most often start to lose their Alpha Power when they feel they may have made in error. Suddenly their whole life is called into doubt.

LET GO!

That's the secret here.

Just make sure you don't question your self-worth just because you made a little boo-boo.

This attitude is tough for a lot of guys to understand, that's why I outlined it clearly in the Secrets of the Alpha Man.

Think of it as your Encyclopedia Alpha Man.

Click HERE to read more about it...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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