It's not your fault...

Hi Carlos,

I listen to your Alpha Male CDs on my iPod regularly, and when I can I refer to the EBook. However, I'd appreciate some additional advise which you could perhaps use as a "Hot & Cold" case study some time in the future.

I've been after this girl at work. It seemed to be going very well. So well in fact that I was on the verge of asking her out for coffee/lunch/drinks date as I was certain she was waiting for to ask her. However, something seems to have happened. When she flew back to Sweden over the Easter weekend break to visit her family, I asked her to bring me back some Swedish cheese for me.

I was going to use the cheese and an excuse to take her out to lunch when she got back to the UK. However, she came back today and she's gone ice cold on me. In fact she's completely blanking me out. I don't know what I've done wrong.

Appreciate some advise. Thx - M

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CARLOS:

In Carlos' book, as long as you're doing SOMETHING and not just sitting on the sidelines, you're doing great. You're in the field, and you're using the material, which is 90% of the game.

Now, the only thing I can think of that may have busted your game is that you probably didn't act soon enough.

Remember that women are subject to 'buying temperature.' This means that you must strike while the iron is hot. When you start seeing some attraction, you must escalate immediately.

Also, remember that as an Alpha Man, you don't need an 'excuse' to ask a woman to lunch. In fact, this is already the wrong frame.

By trying to line up these things (which is not necessarily bad, just not helping your Alpha Attitude), to create this perfect 'ask her out' situation, you are telling yourself that you must have a reason to ask her out.

In fact, the only reason you need to ask a woman out is that you're in the process of improving your quality of life, and you think she might be a good addition.

THAT'S IT.

Right now you're telling yourself that 1) things need to be a certain 'way' to ask her to do something with you, and 2) she is still on a pedestal (i.e., more important than you), and so you must treat her as a delicate and fragile flower to get her to be interested in you. Get rid of these frames.

Now for the nice portion of this review...

You probably didn't do a damn thing wrong. There is and always be an X-factor with women. This means that you may end up doing everything right and she still flakes, or finds some other dude to jump because he moved in fast and was there at the right time.

Whatever.

Just don't kick yourself too much over it.

Get over it.

And move to the next target.

The only woman that matters to you is the one that's meeting your needs by giving you fun and enjoyment in your life, or the NEXT one.

Oh, and you can still work on this one. Just don't let her attitude reflect in yours. If she's cold, you joke with her and bust her chops for not being a warm and caring woman.

And then you move on.

A woman -  IN NO WAY - presents a disruption of your mental state.

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