Tuesday, February 28, 2006

WHAT ABOUT EXTROVERTS?



Dear Carlos,

I'm a huge extrovert. However, just like you can't avoid social situations because of being an introvert, I can't avoid alone time because I'm an extrovert. I need to set aside time for myself to practice my drum, practice my guitar, and do my homework. Once I get alone, however, my energy level quickly drops.

Do you have any solutions that could help me with this?

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CARLOS:

This is an interesting situation. You see, I'm an introvert, but a very social one. (Lately I've been wondering if my introversion is only borderline.)

Extroversion simply means that you get your energy by interacting with others.

Sometimes the level of our need to be alone or with others is directly impacted by our experience and our beliefs about other people.

For example, I have found that the more I gain social skills, the more I actually find that I genuinely love being with people, and the more I get energy from the interactions. It isn't so draining.

I think the opposite stands true for extroverts. In order to really appreciate that time alone, you have to gain some intelligence about yourself and your INTRA-personal understanding. (Within yourself.)

I suggest you do some introverted things in public environments. Read in a library, or out in the park.

Now you obviously can't always practice your guitar or drums in public, but you can still find regular time to get things done. Make it a ritual in the morning where you plan the day alone. The more value you feel you get from the time, the more you'll want to spend it.

Remember, we all need a balance of both. It's often our skills in dealing with ourselves (if you're an extrovert) or with others (if you're an introvert) that make the difference in how we feel about it.

We need a balance.

I cover that balance in more detail in the Secrets of the Alpha Man...

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