VINDICTIVE WIFE QUESTION:
I think this is somewhat of an unusual question but here goes. I am now divorced and my ex-wife had many affairs on me. It literally killed me. I have rebuilt myself through your programs to become an even more Alpha Man.
My ex-wife was living a few hours away from me with the guy she left me for. That all came to shambles and she called me a few weeks ago, wanting me to "guess who it was". I guessed the wrong name trying to make her think I have moved on. She got pissed and hung up.
Well she officially lives back in the area. I am talking a VERY small town, so I can see her quite often. Last night I was in Walmart shopping and she aproached me catching me off guard completly. Carlos, I felt my eyes light up and heat rushing from my face. Here is the conversation.:
ME> Hi (with a monotone voice and my back towards her)
HER> How are you doing?
ME> I don't want to talk to you, just like I told you on the phone. I want to be dead in your eyes.
HER> Can't we just be civil?
ME> Yeah we can be civil when you walk that way (pointing towards the direction she was going)
She ended up staying near me all through wallmark till I left. It is even to the point when I see her in a bar she will make sure she grinds and kisses guys right in front of me. Of course I give no reaction because I don't care, She can't hurt me anymore. I have bigger fish to eat :)
To make this short I DO NOT wish to even speak to this woman again. I haven't forgotten the pain she put me through. Carlos my dislike for her doesn't override my my objective in creating my life and meeting women. I know and believe she is trying to make contact me with for 2 reasons:
1. She wants to get her foot back into the door slowly.
2. She actually feels guilty for everything she had done to our marriage and wants to ease her consicience by making emense with me.
Either way, it's selfishly drivien. Unfortunately, I know I am the standard for any guy she ever gets with. She will always compare guys to me to determine if she likes them for the long hall. I've heard all the stories on how she regrets her mistakes and no one will ever love her like I did etc.....
But questions is I HATE HER. I want her to leave alone, she doesn't diserve my attention or voice. How can I handle this. My other question is I am certain that if I am out with another women she will try to cause problems.
How can I take care of this?
Interesting situation. I’d say the best thing to do is to avoid her, but with this kind of exposure, you’re being forced into a different situation.
You need to get very Machiavellian. Do you have the book “The 48 Laws of Power”?
Read it all. You’ll understand that you need one result: Keep your life the way YOU want it. Which means that you may have to tell her a few untruths. You may even need to ACT like you changed your mind and think she’s okay.
You can be seething and hateful under the surface, but that won’t help you at all. You’ll just be poisoning your mind and spirit. You have to find a way to forgive her and move on.
It DOESN’T mean you have to like her at all. Just use her the way she used you. Not to do evil, but to keep your life good.
There’s a big difference here. Hopefully you understand what I’m saying.
One way or another, she will try to manipulate you through your hatred and anger until you let it go and become the one pulling the strings.
Don’t be pulled down into the black hole of negativity and bitterness.
Make things work on YOUR terms.
There are many ways to make a situation work, and some of them require growth and development on your part.
Don't try to make her "think" you moved on.
That's the real problem here. You're still harboring strong feelings for her, which only serves to keep you involved with her. Hatred is just across the state line from Love, my friend, and you're just converting energies.
It's time to find a way to let go of this anger and pain. Seek professional assistance if it will help you get past this barrier.
Trust me, this kind of internal pain actually causes cancer in people if it isn't released.
I recommend you look to some spiritual counseling as well. Believe it or not, I attribute most of my development in this area from my spiritual and philosophical beliefs.
Defuse the situation by being the one to take control of it. Right now you're under the influence of emotional narcotics known as "hate" and "fear." Get through this and you'll be able to see other solutions.