QUESTION:

Hi Carlos

I have this friend of mine, she's very pretty and enjoys attention. She always tells me about the guys who are chasing her at work and outside work.

But I am shocked that every time I go out with her as a friend, no strings attached, she buys me things and pays for my food. I have started developing some feelings for her. I do not know whether I should wait or it's time to ask her to go out with me.

Regards
N
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CARLOS:


Dude?

Should you ask her to go out with you?

You have already been going out with her!

Don't make the mistake most guys make which is to think you have to make it formal all of a sudden. What you should do is turn one of these no-strings attached meetings into some fun-with-no-strings meetings.

And stop developing feelings in a vacuum. You're starting down AFC road. You gotta get yourself in REAL interactions with her where you can start to DO things with her.

A lot of guys will spend hours and hours building fantasy castles in their heads, just to avoid the possible reality that she isn't into them.

But you gotta make that leap of faith and DO something. Or you'll be spending a lot of time alone with your fantasies.

The reason she's probably hanging with you is either:

1) She things of you as a girlfriend.

2) She might want a little more, and values your presence enough to pay for it.

But remember that this girl is an attention-hound, and that means that if you can't give her what she wants (or get caught up in a vicious cycle of manipulation with her through what she can/can't have), she'll eventually move on to the person who satisfies her low self-esteem.

The next time you see her and she makes a comment about other people's attention, call her on it.

"Why is it so important to you what other people think about you?"

That will start to separate you from the dweebs that chase her.

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